Operation Iraqi Freedom
Great war, or the greatest war? Answer: There is no war. That's another lie of the liberal media. It's a humanitarian effort to restore freedom after Saddam went nuts. That's why the greatest president called it Operation Iraqi Freedom and not O.peration I.raqi L.iberation. Cause In March 2003, The Greatest President Ever, George W. Bush, was commanded by Halliburton God to liberate Iraq and, with any luck, get the baqll rolling on the Rapture. The U.S. was joined in this holy crusade by Britain and a host of other countries who made up for in heart what they lacked in military contributions size; after all, it's not the size of the coalition that counts, but the motion in the quagmire. President Bush knew in his gut that there were WMDs, and most notably nucular weapons, in Iraq. He had to satisfy the nerd patrol at the U.N., however, so just to shut them up he found evidence from such unimpeachable sources as the CIA and Wikipedia. Now sure, you may say that there were no weapons. You may say that Saddam had them all destroyed years ago. You may say all these things, and we may have you arrested. Resolution Because the Frenchies and the Most of the World-ies refused to fight, however, President Bush had no choice but to single-handedly invade Iraq preemptively because Iraq had WMDs Iraq had ties to al-Qaeda Iraq had nucular bombs Saddam was a bad guy. On March 19, 2003, Americans and other troops from the Coalition began bombing the crap out of Baghdad. Saddam and all other Moo-slim terrorists were immediately rendered powerless. The Iraqi people greeted the Americans as liberators, exactly as Vice President Dick Cheney had predicted. The Iraqis danced in the streets, giddy with excitement because they would soon be participating in a perfectly democratic government and worshiping the Baby Jesus as newly converted Christians. After that, stuff happened. Because freedom isn't free. Operation Iraqi Freedom ended on May 1, 2003, less than two months after it began. In a speech aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, Bush declared "Mission Accomplished", saying: :"In the Battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed." Iraqis, Americans, and people all over the world cheered our great victory. George W. Bush could finally retire his flight suit after thousands of successful bombing runs in Iraq and get back to clearing brush on his ranch. Today, May 1st is known as V-Day, or Victory over Iraq day, a holiday celebrated all over Bush's house the world. Operation Iraqi Freedom has solved many problems that were plaguing Iraq. For example, where Iraqi schoolbooks once made hostile reference to Israel, now all the school buildings have been bombed to the ground, thus destroying the schoolbooks and therefore the problem. Currently, nobody has been killed in Iraq who wasn't a terrorist or a phony soldier; in addition, the Iraqi people now have the political ability to vote on leaders who will bring untold oil profits advances in freedom. A Note on Casualty Statistics Beware of the left wing spin machine when looking at the number of US troops killed during Operation Iraqi Freedom. Sensationalist spin-masters like the New York Times are just hyping up these body counts. Try putting things in perspective. 3,047 dead?! That's a drop in the bucket! And don't forget, not a single Iraqi civilian has been killed during Operation Iraqi Freedom! Now, doesn't that make you feel better? Plus, if you put the number in scientific notation, it's not even worth mentioning. So don't mention it ever again... or else. If for some reason that doesn't completely comfort you, please keep in mind that bringing freedom and democracy to the heathen land is hard work. Really hard work. Hard, hard, really stinking hard, hard work. Like as hard as whitewashing a fence, or clearing brush from your ranch. Hard work. World War? The Iraq War is considered by most respected historians as WWII.LXXV, or 2.75. It was a precursor to the much larger, devastating, and catastrophic World War III - the Israel-Lebanon Conflict. See Also * Terrorists * Oil * Hummers * Iran * Troops External Tubes *History redeems Bush's Legacy *He lied but was the thought that counts, right?